Harry Potteryclass and the Chamber pot of Secrets
by cancanchicamg
Summary: It's funny. I screwed with the names. You'll love what I did to Lord Voldemort!


Ok, I had this really stupid dream, so I decided to write this. The   
  
dream  
  
had nothing to do with a chamber pot of secrets!! I don't own Harry  
  
Potter, J.K. Rowling and Scholastic do.  
  
Chapter 1 :The Worst Birthday...*laughs*  
  
The Dumb family were sitting around the table at 4 Freaky Rich People  
  
Live Here, Go Away! Drive. Harry had yet to arrive at the table because  
  
he didn't want to watch his cousin, Dumbly, eat his breakfast. But,  
  
eventually Harry Pottery class went down the stairs to breakfast.  
  
When he arrived, his uncle Very gave him the evil eye until he sat   
  
down.  
  
Then, his aunt Peculiarly gave him toast. It was Harry's twelfth  
  
birthday, and he was sad. He knew Very, Peculiarly, and Dumbly Dumb  
  
didn't like him, and thought his birthday was a supreme waste of time.  
  
So, to make matters worse, Very decided to screw his head up more.  
  
"We all know today is an..." he started. Dumbly was shoving his face  
  
into the plate, tr trying to lick the inside of it, in hopes of finding  
  
more bacon.  
  
"There's bacon on the stove you little Dumby!" she said in a cooing  
  
voice. "Harry, bring my little Dumby-kins bacon."  
  
"Yes Peculiarly Dumb," said Harry as he went to fetch the bacon. He   
  
came  
  
back with the frying pan in his mouth, and his butt wagging.  
  
"What are you doing?" asked Peculiarly.  
  
"You said fetch the bacon," said Harry's muffled voice. Then, Dumbly  
  
took the frying pan out of Harry's mouth and shoved his face in that.  
  
Then, Dr. Evil appeared.  
  
"Dumbly has gone insane because of the bacon. It's like frickin catnip  
  
for fat people," said Dr. Evil as he disappeared.  
  
"O...k, well today is an important day..."  
  
"We're actually going to celebrate my birthday?" asked Harry Pottery  
  
class.  
  
"Hell no! The Bacons are coming over. And I will make the biggest deal  
  
of my life!" Uncle Very sold drills.  
  
How could Harry have forgotten? The Bacon family was coming and Harry  
  
would be....  
  
"Harry, stay in your room, and don't make noise or talk to any   
  
mythical  
  
creatures that may happen to appear!" said aunt Peculiarly.  
  
"Gotcha!"  
  
"Now, clean the house, while I cook, and your uncle and abnormally fat  
  
cousin are getting dinner suits."  
  
"Are they made to fit people that large?" said Harry.  
  
"I was going to give you some pudding, but no, you had to piss off   
  
aunt  
  
Peculiarly Dumb!" Then she muttered: "Why did I marry a man whose last  
  
name is Dumb? Oh yes, because my original last name was Stupid!" Harry  
  
muffled a laugh, and vacuumed the living room, stairs, Dumbly's room,  
  
Very and Peculiarly's room, the bathroom-which is tiled, mowed the   
  
lawn,  
  
tuned up the car, bought the groceries, pruned the rosebush, stole the  
  
bacon, and sat down and did nothing. While doing this heinous chore, he  
  
saw two tennis balls with black in the middle. Gasp! Maybe they're   
  
eyes!  
  
After doing all the chores and looking at tennis balls, Harry went  
  
inside. Aunt Peculiarly looked even dumber than usual. She was wearing   
  
a  
  
green go-go dress and white boots. Harry gave her this look.  
  
"Eat this," she said, shoving cottage cheese down his throat.  
  
"Cheese!" said Harry in a trance.  
  
"Ok, enough freakyness, go upstairs, the bacons will be here any  
  
moment." Harry went to the bathroom before entering his room. It took   
  
him  
  
a bit, because he got engrossed in the scar on his forehead. The scar   
  
was  
  
shaped like a clay pot, that was made by a five year old. He remembered  
  
Lord Likestosnort, and having survived his scary attacks by fuzzy   
  
flying  
  
pigs from the Shire.  
  
He sucked it up and walked into his room, where he saw the tennis   
  
balls  
  
attached to a body. It was a mythical creature. Oh great, thought   
  
Harry,  
  
I'm not supposed to talk to mythical creatures. The doorbell rang, and  
  
Harry squealed like a little girl.  
  
~~~~~  
  
REVIEW! 


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